How to Survive the Mayan Apocalypse – The Zelda Way!

Posted on December 21, 2012 by SpaghettiWeegee

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the last day of your pathetic human existence! Not to suggest that my human existence isn’t equally pathetic, but… Well, let’s not be so introspective at such an important time. Now’s not the time to mope about how pathetic our respective hominid lives have been! Now’s the time for ACTION!

Contained within this post is your very own Zelda-themed apocalypse survival guide (now don’t you feel lucky?)! Before setting out to combat the forces of evil that will invariably begin pouring out when the earth cracks open to ravage the earth of all life, I’d recommend grabbing a sword from either an old swordsman on your island, a friendly local blacksmith, or out of a secret forest grove with rocks perpetually rolling around in it (hey, you can’t start out with the master sword– that comes later!). Next, grab a shield. It’s probably going to be wooden, which won’t help much against fire breathing demons, but you can upgrade to a metal shield whenever you’ve collected enough rupees (stop being impatient!). Finally, for the love of all that is good, pick up a strategy guide (or read the ones we’ve carefully assembled on this very site)! That’s just my opinion, however– if you want to hear the experts chime in, hit the jump button!

First of all, in order to survive the apocalypse, you’ve got to be musically inclined, or at least, that’s what I’ve drawn from these sources! The website How To Stop the End of the World suggests that the only way to stop the apocalypse from occurring is to play some catchy Ocarina songs! The site provides ocarina tabs so that those of you that happen to possess that instrument can play the songs used to save Termina in Majora’s Mask– and maybe to save the planet Earth in… Well, real life!

Youtube user DocJazz has also provided a comprehensive guide to surviving the apocalypse supposedly foretold by the end of the Mayan calendar, as seen below.

And, hey, if all else fails, you could always try using a game genie– or just crouching in the corner and stabbing repeatedly!

One Response to “How to Survive the Mayan Apocalypse – The Zelda Way!”

  1. SkallaML says:

    You truly have a thing for exclamation points!

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